“ I found in my research that most people aren’t self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says to be hard on ourselves.” ~ Kristen Neff~
How are you talking to yourself with kindness, or are you using critical self-talk?
Self Compassion involves being kind to yourself by demonstrating forgiveness, talking with kindness, and not judging your mistakes.
Inner self-talk is important because it’s how you are talking to yourself, and that can make a difference in the way you express your emotions.
WHAT IS SELF-COMPASSION?
Self-compassion skills can be learned and are essential to your physical and mental health.
Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer, in his book “The Mindful Path to Self Compassion” explains there are a few ways of bringing Self-compassion to your body.
- Comfort Your Body- Eat Something Healthy. Lie down and massage your body lightly.
- Write a Letter to Yourself- Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain, such as a breakup, mental, emotional, or situation, without blaming anyone.
- Give Yourself encouragement- If something wrong happens to you, say to yourself what you would say to a good friend.
- Practice Mindfulness- This is a nonjudgemental observation of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
An article written by Christopher Germer and Kristen Kneff describes how mindfulness and Self-compassion can change your life through
Check this Out-
TREAT YOURSELF WITH KINDNESS
- Self Compassion is being completely honest with yourself and can be very difficult for some.
- Acknowledging that you feel pain, however, you are not judging it is good or bad.
- Say to yourself “ I may be suffering right now, but other people are suffering as well.” We all make mistakes it is part of the human experience.
- Treating yourself with loving-kindness can help you forgive others, and be kinder to yourself.
- You can learn a lot by understanding how you treat yourself is important “.
- An exercise that works well is putting your hand on your heart and saying “ I may be hurting say a kind word such as I am deserving of feeling better and entitled to make mistakes.
SELF COMPASSION.
- Give yourself a break when you make a mistake, and be kind, gentle, and forgiving.
- Don’t beat yourself up because you engaged in something once, and say I will never do this again.
- Use meditation to become in touch with your feelings and be mindful of your emotions.
- If you are treating yourself with self-compassion it will be apparent if and when you make a mistake you can talk kindly to yourself, instead of beating yourself up with negativity.
- Being in the present and not thinking about the mistakes you made in the past is beneficial for treating yourself well.
Many people dehumanize homeless people and don’t realize many of them had jobs and
Showing kindness towards another human being is practicing self-compassion and is healthy for our society and the world we live in today.
You learn to accept that we all have days that are not always happy, but you don’t have to be hard or difficult with yourself.
SELF COMPASSION QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Many of us were influenced by our parents, caregivers, or teachers or were taught when we didn’t do well to beat ourselves up, however, this is farthest from the truth.
Being kind to yourself when you make a mistake is healthier and showing self-compassion to yourself will empower you.
Talk to you with positive statements that will encourage you, and allow you to move past what was.
By asking these questions to yourself you can write down in a self-compassion journal answers.
How do you feel when you are cut off from other people when things go wrong?
Try doing the exercise where you put your hand on your heart and take a deep breath in and out.
Our culture does not empathize with self-compassion, instead, it teaches us that we are not good enough.
RESEARCH AND MOVING FORWARD IN SELF COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
Although there is a lot of research being performed on self-compassion as a society we need to come together and show all people it is normal to make mistakes, and not beat yourself up.
Moving forward as a society we can work together with family systems, schools, and professional mental health workers to encourage others to practice self-compassion and mindfulness.
Teach children that their value is not based on their career, but on the way, they treat themselves and kindness to others.
You were taught many ways which were modeled as a child, However, you can change them if they are not effective for you today as an adult.
Five ways Practicing Self Compassion
- Tell yourself if you make a mistake and you feel guilty, it’s a learning experience.
- Write down kind words about yourself such as loyal, truthful, kind, and what makes you unique.
- Keep a self-compassion journal about being kind and treating yourself with respect.
- Put your hand on your heart and say a mantra or repeat a positive statement, I am worthy of respect.
- Forgive yourself easy and let go of past mistakes and move forward.
The art of self-compassion is used with mindfulness to explore positive ways to treat yourself better.
